Emil Asdurian: Leubh

 

The monologue that was never a self-talk!

The dialogue that was never as such, but a full

theatrical play, never the same, and even less by its

characters!

Unbelievably simple and immensely complex, in all of

the forms it takes as it disappears from scene to scene,

from act to act! Something closer to trial and error,

instantaneously at the edge of a time-rim, in an infinity

of possibilities like fragments shards of an instant!

What is that arbitrary interpersonal consensus?

Where it comes from, if it is not divine, why it wipes

the field’s nuances for an abstracted one? An ideal,

an altered non- I as another non-other, allowed to tell

the story of its experience and stance, what attracts

the inner eyes to become self’s part, mostly silent, but

nonetheless an indispensable presence!

Through an instant’s semipermeable surface, like

placenta villus and lacuna gaps, sieves through its

mirroring all the other actor I-s, their reciting parts

and yet with a myriad of invisible nerve-ends remains

interdependently tied to every each one!

The “homuculus” emerged where shadows overlap,

without defined contours and lines, a phare looking

upon from the future, guarding from wrecks and sirens

dazzling songs, and with a kiss rising with splashing

ardor foams above the waves of ideas and self-

understanding, never to abide to the same boring

method of selecting, the unpredictable beast that

ravagely consumes  the irreversibility of time that its

mind and will created!

That never a machine, like that feeling, can be build!

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*leubh: from PIE root desire, love, liberty, make crazy